Bartering in Kolkata 101

Bartering is a way of life here. I found a shop with beautiful fabrics and entered as I wanted to have a few custom made shalwar-kameez made and delivered same day. The way it works is you enter into the shop and behind a long counter are stacks and stacks of plastic incased materials. Once they get you into the stall you are theirs… sometimes it feels like for life. More and more keepers assistants arrive and it becomes quiet a production. They start grabbing fabric packages and pulling things out, even before you can say “no,  I hate the color mustard” they have opened it up and are trying to hold it up to my face or forcing me to touch the fabrics saying “nice fabric of top quality” etc. Package after package, colors, textures, silks, blends, plastic piles building…  Its overwhelming and I quickly adjust to a speedy selection process that is to be down right rude acting like a spoiled princess flicking things away with my hand and sticking my nose in the air at something unattractive. I even resorted to a click of the tongue at one pattern that was so horrible it reminded me of a bad experience I once had after drinking too much ouzo in Greece. 

Once fabric is selected the bartering begins. They always come in high…really high. Stall…. Look around and wait. I don’t say a word until it becomes so painfully uncomfortable for everyone that they finally break the tension by ever so gently dropping the price down a bit. Only then do I engage in the process. I will throw out a price so low I embarrass even myself and the men all “tusk-tusk” at it and pretend like they are so insulted there are going to put everything back on the shelves and throw me out….trust me they won’t! That’s when I start looking outside the shop at other vender’s shops and fabrics.  They follow my eyes and read my thoughts. Usually the second price reduction comes in right about now. It’s time for more awkward silence and I make myself look bored….long awkward silence, staring off, looking down,  wait for it……now its my turn to give a little, I come back a little higher. They get excited and pull out their paper and start working out another offer to me. Stalling one last time I pretend like I have an idea and this time I grab my new Iphone 4 and pull up my sexy new currency converter app, work the numbers diligently, messing around with them, working it out. Final offer from me… they come back somewhere in between and then my friends the deal is done. This whole ritual usually takes about 10-20 minutes…. I try to hold out long enough for the free soda or chai.

Emotionally I am done and can’t wait to leave… but that’s when they try to get you again….The shopping experience becomes like a bad infomercial for Sham Wow…”but wait…. That’s not all”! You can have this too and this and this.  If you are a weak man like I once used to be you will become the proud owner of the “Banjo Minnow” fishing system. I was an infomercial virgin at the time.  I sat down with my son and watched in amazement that we could most likely catch anything if only we had this amazing fishing lure. We don’t fish by the way but this was going to change our lives forever…we were going fishing! I was on the phone with my credit card ordering that Banjo Minnow fishing lure system for $19.95 before reason could stop me. My son and I still laugh about it to this day 15+ years later. Bottom line is if you don’t get out of that shop you could very well find yourself the proud owner of the Banjo Minnow fishing lure system too.  These guys are good…take the free chai and run.